Things I Learned From Designing My Own Home

Designing your own home sounds like a dream… until you’re the one making every single decision.

Back in January 2025, I got the opportunity to work with a builder on designing a semi-custom spec home. And I took it.

I’ve designed homes for countless clients, so I know the process inside and out. I understand how budgets evolve, how timelines shift, and how invoices can sometimes feel a little overwhelming. Still, experiencing it firsthand from the client side is an entirely different perspective.

It gave me a new level of perspective.

I knew going through the process myself would ultimately make me a better designer for the people I work with.

Every step of the journey deepened my understanding of what my clients experience, and that perspective is something I now carry into every project moving forward.

The Story:

People often assume I chose to build a spec home because it was the “easier” option compared to going fully custom. The truth is, it was a mix of timing, practicality, and a little bit of serendipity.

We had been looking to move for almost two years and kept coming up short. I really wanted to stay in the same area so the kids wouldn’t have to switch schools, and so we could remain close to my mom and brother. At this stage of life, that sense of stability felt more important than starting completely from scratch.

The builder’s wife and I had originally connected over Instagram (proof that social media can occasionally be a wonderful thing), so when this particular home became available, it immediately caught my attention. It was on a double lot, had the square footage we wanted, and gave me the opportunity to make intentional interior selections on a condensed timeline.

I had about six weeks to finalize the finishes.

The interesting thing about a spec build is that most of the major decisions are already made. The floor plan is set, the exterior elevation is set. Structural changes are typically off the table.

But I knew something important.

I could show people the power of selections.

You can take the exact same house, the same rooms, the same bones… and create a completely different outcome with thoughtful decisions and a little creativity.

Design doesn’t always require starting from zero. Sometimes the magic is knowing which decisions matter most, and where small changes create the biggest impact.

The Client Experience Is Everything

I built my home for one very specific reason. I wanted to fully understand the client experience, down to receiving the final change order invoices.

There are things you only truly understand when you experience them in real time. Decision fatigue becomes very real, timelines shift more than expected, and unexpected adjustments are almost inevitable. When you’re personally invested in the outcome, every choice carries a level of weight that’s difficult to fully appreciate until you’re living it yourself.

That perspective has changed how I guide my clients.

• Preparation matters.
• Clarity matters.
• Communication matters.

A well-run project should feel supported from beginning to end. Not chaotic. Not reactive.

When clients trust the process, everything flows better. The decisions feel clearer. The results feel intentional.

The Power of Selections Is Real

One of the biggest takeaways from this project was confirming something I’ve always believed.

Selections shape everything.

You can take the exact same floor plan and create two completely different homes depending on the materials, finishes, and details chosen.

Stone selections change the feeling of a kitchen entirely.
Hardware changes how cabinetry is experienced every single day.
Lighting changes how materials are seen, felt, and understood.

These layers are what transform a house into something personal.

The difference between builder-grade and custom feeling often comes down to the thoughtfulness behind these decisions.

If you follow us over on instagram, you’ll see I’ve been sharing, now that my homes completely, all the changes in making my home builder-grade, to personal and mine.

A Well-Designed Home Changes How You Live

I’ve always believed that when we look good, we feel good. The same applies to our homes.

When your home feels curated and considered, you naturally want to use it differently. You feel more open to hosting. More comfortable inviting people in. More connected to the space around you.

Someone once gave me advice that stayed with me:
Always have a good bottle of champagne and frozen cookies on hand.

It sounds simple, but the idea behind it is meaningful. Your home should feel ready to welcome people, even on an ordinary Tuesday.

Because the best homes are meant to be lived in, creating connection, holding memories, and becoming part of your story.

A well-designed home invites people to stay a little longer. It creates a sense of calm that you can feel the moment you walk through the door.

That feeling doesn’t happen by accident.

It comes from thoughtful layouts, layered materials, performance fabrics that can handle real life, and details that support both beauty and function.

Yes, children will spill juice on the sofa.
Yes, life will happen inside these spaces.

But beautiful homes and real life can absolutely coexist.

Designing for Real Life Looks Different When It’s Your Own

Designing my own home reinforced something I talk about often.

Function is just as important as aesthetics.

I started questioning more:

Where do backpacks land when the kids walk through the door?
Where do shoes naturally come off?
How does the kitchen feel when multiple people are in it at once?
Where do we naturally gather at the end of the day?

These details shape how a home lives.

Our home is the place I want my children to burst through the front door without hesitation. Shoes kicked off. Backpacks dropped. A place where little minds feel safe, where dinners are simple, where spelling tests are practiced at the kitchen island.

It should be where we unwind at night with a glass of wine once the house finally quiets down.

Home is the backdrop of childhood.
It quietly lives behind their smiles in photos years from now.

And that perspective influences every design decision I make for clients.

Living the Process Makes Me a Better Designer

Going through the build personally strengthened the way I approach projects today.

It reinforced the importance of planning early.
The importance of cohesion.
The importance of knowing which decisions truly impact the outcome.

It also reminded me that designing a home is deeply personal.

It’s not just about how a space photographs. It’s about how it feels on a random Tuesday night when no one else is around.

A well-designed home supports your routines without asking for attention.
It feels effortless because the work was done thoughtfully from the start.

Design isn’t just about creating something beautiful.
It’s about creating something that lasts.

And after designing my own home, I can say with complete confidence:The right decisions don’t just change how a home looks.
They change how it lives.

If You’re Considering Building or Renovating

If you’re starting the process of building or renovating, know that the decisions you make early shape everything that follows.

Thoughtful design doesn’t require starting from scratch.
It requires understanding how the pieces work together.

That’s what creates homes that feel personal, intentional, and effortless to live in.

And after experiencing the process firsthand, I can promise you this:The details matter more than you think.

The process matters more than you expect.
And the right guidance makes all the difference.

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